King Sized Coffee Cups
by SquishyBijou
Summary: An heiress graduates from college, impulsively weds her sexy high school sweetheart, and then faces the consequences of moving back in with her father. (Tyzula RomCom Challenge, Modern AU, Drabble-ish, Azula/Ty Lee, Zuko/Katara, Mai/Ozai)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is for a challenge in the Tyzula Renaissance Forum that is trying to make more Tyzula comedy stories and lighten up the fandom. If you're interested in writing one of the prompts or just writing a funny story about Azula and Ty Lee, come check it out.

It's a Modern AU, and a pretty traditional one. The ships are inspired by that trendy trinity of Tyzula/Zutara/Maizai.

It's going to be around 25 – 30 chapters (I have a lot planned for it).

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **KING SIZED COFFEE CUPS**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Azula stepped out of her shimmering red Ferrari and sighed.

The fiery sun beat down on the Arizona desert, heating the smooth driveway leading to the gigantic Kai Family mansion.

She always imagined she would be doing far better immediately after college graduation. Her father ought to have a glamorous job lined up for her and she could purchase a gorgeous penthouse with a Japanese soaking tub she could share with her new wife.

But _no_. After experiencing four years of true freedom, she returned to her childhood bedroom like a common peasant. Welcome to having an overbearing obscenely wealthy father.

"I'm so excited to re-meet your family!" Ty Lee blithely exclaimed as she left the car and leaned over the hood to get a better look at her Princess Charming.

"I am certain they are excited to meet you too," lied Azula in a pretty purr that covered up her dishonesty. "We will be one big, happy family living in the same mansion in the middle of _nowhere_ Arizona. It is every girl's dream come true."

Ty Lee vaulted over the hood of the car and her lips collided with Azula's. They tasted like her bitter red lipstick while Ty Lee's tasted like Coca Cola chapstick. It was a surprisingly delicious combination, or perhaps they just liked making out.

A man cleared his throat and they swiftly broke apart.

"This must be your girlfriend," said Ozai, looking from Azula to Ty Lee.

He looked intimidating as always, with a pitch black suit and a slightly open blood red silk shirt and a fiery pocket square instead of a tie. He wore that on a weekend in the middle of nowhere, where no one would see him, as always.

Ty Lee furrowed her brow. Azula glared at her, hoping to telepathically communicate.

 _As far as he knows, we are not married,_ said her golden eyes.

"Yeah. I'm her girlfriend," Ty Lee replied, giving him her brightest smile and the most flirtatious bat of her fake eyelashes. "Thank you for letting me live here. I really don't have another place to stay so it's the nicest thing ever. You're the nicest guy ever!"

Ty Lee gracefully leapt forward and tightly embraced Ozai. Azula smirked; it was well played. Ozai had two weaknesses and two weaknesses only: hot young women and his favorite child. Save for that, the man was invincible and terrifying.

"You could do worse, Azula," said Ozai.

It encouraged Ty Lee, despite being a half-insult to most people.

* * *

Azula and Ty Lee walked inside with their suitcases and dropped them in the front hall. The entire family waited for their arrival and Ty Lee felt like someone important. Azula was only irritated by the presence of her stepmother slash best friend, her brother, and his dreadful girlfriend that he knocked up. It might be a gigantic mansion, but it was overcrowded.

"Mai!" Ty Lee hugged her old best friend. "How've you been?"

"Impartial," replied Mai as she released Ty Lee.

"Not really an answer but okay," Ty Lee chimed, batting those expensive fake eyelashes again. She smiled and waved at Zuko and Katara. "And I haven't met you, Katara."

"But you know my name," said Zuko's baby mama.

Ty Lee giggled. "Yeah. I have social media, dummy."

Katara rolled her eyes. Ty Lee was no improvement from Azula's past girlfriends.

Azula broke the newfound silence. "ZuZu, are you wearing that awful cologne again?"

He glared twice as fiercely. "Why do you ask?"

Azula smirked. "Because you smell like a frat party in a middle school locker room."

"You deserved that," said Ozai as he walked inside. "It was a straightforward question, son. Mai, come help me… I don't care. Do something away from these people."

"Whatever," was her response, and they left the quartet of graduates alone together.

Azula asked, "You two are living here?"

"Well, father wants us nearby to control us more effectively, but when I sold my guitar and got some cash of my own," said Zuko, "Katara and I stayed in a hotel for a while."

"The one that gave you the free zebra print robe?" asked Azula with a grimace. "I could have done without that Instagram picture."

Zuko said, "It was meant to show off and accentuate."

With a further sour twist of her lips, Azula replied, "It was working."

"You have too many opinions," Katara quietly said with her arms crossed.

Zuko looked at the tension between Azula and Katara already building and he quickly turned to Ty Lee. "Can I interest you in some very strong coffee? We have syrups to put in it."

"Do you have vanilla?" Ty Lee asked with a smile.

"Yeah," he replied, nodding.

Ty Lee kissed Azula's cheek and followed Zuko into the heart of the mansion. Ozai decorated it like it was a gilded age manor to the extent of purchasing historically accurate vintage furniture. It did not fit in the sun-scorched locale.

They reached the kitchen and Ty Lee situated herself on a bar stool while Zuko busied himself with the coffee machine. Ty Lee leaned over the counter as Zuko prepared the coffee. She had a faint smile painted on her face at all times, which confused the heck out of him.

She chattered about the long drive from California while he made her the best coffee she would ever have in her life (in his humble opinion). He passed her the grand gift and she gasped.

"The coffee cups are _huge_!" Ty Lee exclaimed as Zuko poured her a mug. "This is like a _bowl_ but with a handle."

When Zuko handed it to her, she accepted the drink with a cheery smile. Zuko tilted his head to the side; he wondered why on Earth this girl was so happy all the time.

"So, you're dating Azula?" Zuko asked, hoping to just make this less _weird_.

"Oh, actually we're married," said Ty Lee, holding out her hand with the huge diamond ring on it. "We got married like two weeks ago at a drive-thru chapel. It was a dream come true."

Zuko decided it might be best not to talk, so he poured himself a cup of coffee and attached it to his dry lips.

In the other room, Katara did not want to, but she attempted small talk. It was better than the brutal silence.

"So, what did you do on the weekend?" Katara asked and Azula said nothing. "I worked at the clinic getting my experience for med—"

Azula glared at her as she interrupted with, "If I cared about what you did on the weekend, I would put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes."

Azula stood up and walked away.

Katara muttered to herself, "Always the charmer…"

* * *

Ty Lee unpacked her belongings and Azula's while Azula sat on her queen sized childhood bed and rubbed her own feet. The cute gymnast stopped when she reached her bikini and held it up in front of herself with a smile.

"We should go to the pool. I'll make margaritas," Ty Lee chirped. "We'll bask in the sunlight and I'll swim and it'll be so nice."

"Nothing is nice living with my brother and his girlfriend and my father and Mai and soon a baby. Living with you is hard enough," Azula stated bitterly.

"Why don't we talk while at the pool?" Ty Lee suggested again, batting her eyelashes this time. She just _knew_ it would work on her lovely wife.

"Whatever," Azula said, grabbing her own cerulean bikini.

They changed without even looking at each other. Married for two weeks and already, well, _married_. Azula thought she might have hit an all-time low.

Wonderful.

* * *

Ty Lee swam in the crystalline water while Azula sipped the excellent margarita from a pool chair. Mai watched from the window, not sure if she was bored or amused.

Ozai leaned against the wall and asked her, "Is there something interesting out there?"

"Honestly, no. I just am trying to figure out how this freaking happened," Mai said. "I mean, they've been in love for as long as I've known them, but I never thought they'd get this far. They seem too happy together. Something is wrong. They've never been that happy together."

"They are probably hiding something," said Ozai, setting his hand on her back. "It will come out eventually. Poor choice of words. Someone will let it slip eventually."

Mai turned her attention to her phone and started texting. He had no idea who she was talking to, since Azula and Ty Lee were the only friends he knew she had, but he would have to wait and look through her phone later while she was asleep. Mai responded poorly to his alleged invasions of her privacy and he had to do it behind her back.

"I didn't know you thought Azula was capable of doing anything wrong."

"She's a good child, _the_ good child, and whatever she did can't be worse than impregnating a self-righteous failed marine biologist and human rights activist out of wedlock. At least her live-in girlfriend is actually hot," said Ozai, shrugging.

"Katara is more attractive than Ty Lee."

"Personality counts," said Ozai.

"Really? Do I have the most glittery personality in the world?"

"You have a personality where I have never heard you say glittery before and you've told me to shut up more than once—which no one else ever has, even my rebellious son—and so you are the prettiest girl in my house," said Ozai, now rubbing her back.

"I don't care if I am or not," Mai said. She watched Azula and Ty Lee for a few more minutes and saw nothing interesting. "I'm taking a nap."

She broke free of her husband and walked to the master bedroom upstairs.

* * *

Azula sipped her second margarita and said, "I never wanted to live with my father as an adult. He could give me money without keeping me under his thumb."

Ty Lee weakly smiled then saw that was not enough. So, she grasped at the best she could do. "Baby killer whales, when they grow up, they stay with their mom forever. They like never ever leave her side. Be a killer whale, princess," Ty Lee said, broadly grinning.

"Well," said Azula, glancing at her margarita and then at the pool, "it isn't _terrible_ to live with my wealthy father who spoils me because I'm his precious little girl. Less pleasant to live with Zuko and Mai and Katara, but the refreshments are lovely."

"I love it when you look on the bright side!" chirped Ty Lee, rising out of the pool and rushing to Azula. "It's really attractive!"

Inside, Zuko was having his daily fight with his father. He reached the part where he shouted about how mother ran off and disappeared from their lives because he was such a jerk just as Ty Lee got out of the pool and straddled Azula.

"Well, perhaps you should track down the mother who abandoned you if you hate my generosity so much," growled Ozai at his indignant son. "I am all you have. I give and I take and you can get yourself a damned job if you want out of here. It'd be far more honorable since you knocked up some poor Eskimo girl."

"Azula got married!" Zuko shouted and Ozai took a step back. "Yeah! That _girlfriend_ she brought over is her wife! They eloped after graduation!"

Ozai froze with a look that could kill on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Azula broke her kiss with Ty Lee when her father walked out into the backyard and stood with his arms crossed. It could not be good.

"Why did you not tell me you were _married_?" he growled, eyes flaring.

"I hoped to hide that longer," she admitted cavalierly.

Ozai furiously growled, " _Why_ did you _marry her_?"

"Father, look how hot she is. Look how hot she is," Azula said.

Ty Lee sat up and waved, flipping her hair for good measure. Azula almost saw _sparkles_ of sexy when she did that, white bikini slipping slightly on her wet skin. It did successfully draw the eye of the man Ty Lee knew she had to impress.

"I _see_ how hot she is," growled Ozai, clenching his jaw. "That is _not a reason_ to elope."

Azula sighed. "I apologize, father. Perhaps we can hold a fake wedding for the both of us. Or would that still disappoint you?"

"I will consider your request," Ozai said coldly before he walked back inside.

Azula sipped from a huge coffee cup and gazed at the glittering blue water of the pool. Ty Lee scampered up the side of the artificial waterfall and jumped down from the stones. It submerged her for a flicker of a second and then she rose, gasping for breath. Her shirt slipped down and Azula very subtly lowered her sunglasses.

This was not half bad.

Azula missed the heat of home.

* * *

That afternoon, Zuko sat on the couch, watching television. He was engrossed in an old western film when Azula sat down beside him, still in a dark red sundress. She snatched the remote, nearly scratching Zuko's face with her sharp rouge nails. Azula shamelessly changed the channel to a modern action movie.

"Give me the remote!" Zuko demanded, reaching out. Azula tossed it to the other side of the room and Zuko made an angry sound at him.

"Give me a reason not to set you on fire!" Azula sharply replied, smirking at her small victory.

Zuko stood, considering picking up the remote off of the floor, but he decided just to go upstairs and watch his movie upstairs with his studying wife.

* * *

While the credits of the Western rolled, Zuko threw a football into the air and caught it again repeatedly while Katara sits on her laptop. Never had there been such boredom in a room. She had long stopped paying attention to the graduate work she was studying, and Zuko just wanted to play sports all summer like he did when he was a kid.

"I can't believe she's living here," he said once more for the umpteenth time.

Katara looked up from her internet surfing and said, "Maybe it'll turn out fine and you'll be surprised. Maybe your sister isn't as bad as you think."

"As bad as I think? Katara, her birth was punishment for the sins of man."

Katara shook her head at her boyfriend. "You're being melodramatic again. She's probably not as bad as you always go on and on about."

"Just wait. Spend one week in this house with her and you will know I'm making understatements," Zuko said bitterly. He was disproportionately angry in Katara's opinion; he was in the right in his own.

He tossed the football again.

Katara rolled her eyes.

* * *

Azula sighed as she sat at the terra cotta counter and drank even more coffee. It was getting late in the day; the sky was tinged pink. That did not stop her from drinking such strong coffee that it gave her the shakes.

"I still cannot believe this _marriage_ nonsense," Ozai growled, drinking from his own cup.

Azula did not know how else to redeem herself in his eyes. What could she do? The damage was done and she was married to Ty Lee.

"Father," Azula said with a sigh, "are we going to talk about anything other than the lies I told you?"

Mai snickered from the kitchen table. She rubbed her fingertips across her lips and then said, "It is getting extremely boring. It's already old news. Azula eloped. She lied to you. This is like some cliché soap opera plot that would make the dumbest person in the world roll their eyes."

Ozai took a deep breath. Azula just _knew_ he was going to listen to _Mai_ instead of his dear, beloved daughter.

"You know, you will probably divorce her. Your mother and I rushed a marriage and look where that got us," said Ozai, narrowing his eyes. He could pretend to be coming from a place of compassion but Azula was not buying it.

Mai dryly interjected, "Divorce is the third most stressful event a person can face. Do you think you can handle that without needing to be institutionalized again?"

Azula glowered at her stepmother. People were not supposed to mention that.

"Well, marriage is the seventh. It is _all bad_ ," Azula said, for she had prepared. She knew Ozai would use his divorce with Ursa as an excuse to criticize and she came with guns loaded for that one.

"Yes, but I think the women in your life always make you suffer," Ozai said, crossing his arms.

"You only lose those people if you intend to do so. And you _will_ lose them, father, and perhaps I will lose Ty Lee. You see, it happens in a pattern," Azula purred, confident as could be at the moment. Or maybe she just found this power at the bottom of her king-sized coffee cup. "First it's your mom, then it's your wife, then it's the daughter you leave all your money to when you die."

"The daughter I leave all my money to when I die?" Ozai asked, snorting.

"You know it to be true. Who else would you make sole benefactor? Zuko? Mai?" Azula asked, leaning forward.

"If you want all of my money, you will stop lying to me, keeping secrets, and you will stage a wedding with Ty Lee of some sort so I will not be humiliated," Ozai growled, his voice as commanding as an emperor. It was a tone even Azula knew she could not soften.

"Yes, father," Azula agreed.

Mai rolled her eyes behind her stepdaughter's back.

Ty Lee pranced into the room, kissed Azula's cheek and bat her eyelashes at Ozai.

Her plan? To make him realize she would be the best daughter-in-law _ever_. She really did need to impress her wife's dad. Everybody did, even people who did not marry in secret.

"Thank you for making coffee, Mr. Shinohai," Ty Lee chirped, pouring some for herself. She put ice in it. No one could blame her in this weather.

"Azula made it," Ozai said through his teeth. "And if you are trying to impress me, you will have to try harder."

Ty Lee frowned at the fridge but smiled brightly when she turned around to face the room of her wife and in-laws.


End file.
